When is a Final Offer not a Final Offer? Err, when it’s a Lambeth Final Offer

by More Street Cleaning and less Social Cleansing, please

I refused the ‘Final Offer’ ex-cannabis factory in Barcombe Avenue, having been told that if I refused it I could only bid on category H properties after that (but, they said, don’t bother thinking that getting rehoused from category H was likely to happen ever…).

So, I tried to access the CBL site, to browse the cat H’s, but couldn’t login.  I contacted the bloke at the end of the DHS-AMPT email and he sorted things out. I was still registered as cat C for some reason and I put a bid on a place in Kellett Rd. Wandered off, had a cup of tea. Logged back in and found my CBL account suspended. Now I can’t bid on anything – cat C or cat H.

Then, coincidentally, I’m on the phone to my solicitor and he suddenly gets an email from Devonshires, Lambeth’s solicitors… Lambeth are going to do up the ex-cannabis factory and offer it to me again (and again, and again and again?). A looping ‘Final Offer’ then?

But… I didn’t turn it down because it was in crap condition, I turned it down because I’m in crap condition – I’d be marooned in a place I don’t know, with no friends near, no room for a carer to stay, half a mile from the shops and the buses and the trains and I CAN’T WALK.

What’s it all about Alfie? (Cat, Alfie, geddit).

– Trace Newton